I always write these little monologues to kinda take a snapshot of my life at that time to kinda move on from it. Its a chance for me to kinda clear some mental space.
Its like it aint even real. One of my biggest supporters is now my biggest critics, and thats cool with me. I aint even mad at them. Its like tupac said I got bustas, h**s and the police after me. That right there is enough to drive any man off the rails. Its different, it doesnt sound too bad or stressful but it is. It really is!
Its just as bad as being locked up, when you locked down like this. I'm on the outside I got my freedom but I aint free to be me. I''m under intense scrutiny and I aint even a superstar. They watch my facebook, the people I talk to, the girls I date, the food I eat, the money I spend, cant smile too much cause then obviously I aint doing something else I'm supposed to be doing.
People try to extort me, play wit my head. Its bad man! I'm not trusting too many people these days. Just because I cant identify their motives. I dont know what people looking for, what they want from, what they trying to accomplish.
But whats new?? Life always been chaotic. Do I let it get to me? Probably so...
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